he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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