I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just googled if crying burns calories
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize