I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
she smelled like a LAN party
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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