I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
