therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Randomize
