I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
