Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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