I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i drank out of a bidet.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
