I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
