ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
