There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
