Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
MIDGETS
????
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
