I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
