i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
