I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
