I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Randomize
