what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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