Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
