please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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