Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
