Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
