he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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