Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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