I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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