Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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