as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
