cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
the day after is always just damage control
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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