you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
