As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
is that a dick in a sweater?
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