I have demons in me.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
