How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
