I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
