I can text with my tongue
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm at about main and main street
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
