Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
