I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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