I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize