Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
