I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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