I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
