Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
