I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
