I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
