...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
