Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
