It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
