She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
