i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
