am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
