Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
