We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize