so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
