You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
