Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
