You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
