We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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