my soul wont recognize me after tonight
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
