do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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