so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
high people should be assigned attendants
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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