woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I FOUND THE LEGS
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
