She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize
