Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
