Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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